


i'll pretend for a little while

by introductions



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (but only for a little bit), 5+1 Things, And stubborn, Denial of Feelings, Hinata is dumb, M/M, Yachi is a good friend, kagehina are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/introductions/pseuds/introductions
Summary: five times hinata shouyou pretended that he didn't like kageyama tobio, and one time that he didn't.





	i'll pretend for a little while

**Author's Note:**

> while this isn't the first Haikyuu!! fic I've written, it's the first one that I've posted. enjoy !  
> follow me on twitter [ here](https://twitter.com/conclusions_twt)!

  _i._

 

Hinata was better at catching his wandering thoughts with each passing day. It was becoming a bit of an issue, really, because now Tsukishima was making fun of him more often for spacing out and Daichi had to keep telling him to watch out when a ball came his way. Hinata's nose still hurt from where he'd intercepted Asahi's serve with his face. It was becoming routine, at this point: let his thoughts wander, catch himself, turn bright red, hope nobody noticed, and then drag his mind back on track.

It would've been easy to ignore if he'd been thinking about someone beautiful like Kiyoko-san, or maybe the pretty girl that sat in front of him. 

But _no._ It wasn't either of them--it was stupid Kageyama. _Kageyama,_ of all people in the whole prefecture! In all of Japan!

Hinata sighed and flopped onto his desk, his forehead hitting the pages of his textbook with a loud _smack._

"Hinata-kun," the teacher scolded, and Hinata jerked upright, ignoring the muted laughter of his classmates. He probably looked like an idiot. "Are you paying attention?"

"Yes," he responded quickly, rubbing his eyes. The teacher planted a hand on her hip and pursed her lips. 

"Can you finish the equation on the board, then?"

More laughter as Hinata squinted at the board, trying to make sense of the variables. What was he supposed to do with two exponents, again? Multiply them? Or was it add? 

He didn't remember. All he remembered is trying to study this with Kageyama but they ended up in Hinata's backyard trying to teach Natsu how to receive. Kageyama was surprisingly nice, and Hinata had discovered that Kageyama actually _did_ know how to smile--it was soft, and a little uneven, and totally heart-wrenching in a way that Hinata was definitely not going to admit nor think about, nope, nope, no thank you--

"Hinata," the teacher's voice cut in, and Hinata ducked his head in shame.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

The teacher let out a breath. The reaction must be so unlike him--normally he'd take a wild guess, because Hinata often found himself on the receiving end of good luck--because the teacher didn't give him extra homework or call on him again for the rest of class, which meant Hinata could force himself to stop picturing Kageyama's dumb smile and why he was even thinking of it in the first place.

 _Kageyama is dumb and stupid and ugly,_ Hinata told himself firmly. _It doesn't mean anything._

He'd repeat it as many times as necessary.

\----

_ii._

 

"If I told you," Yachi said nervously, picking at her rice with her chopsticks, "that I had a…date--"

"You have a _date?!"_ Hinata startled, sitting up so quickly he nearly sent Yachi's drink flying.

"Hypothetically!" Yachi said hurriedly, waving her hands.

Hinata blinked at her. "So you have a date--"

"I didn't say that," Yachi protested, but it was much weaker. "But I wanted to know what you think."

"Of you having a date?" Hinata asked, still not understanding at what she was getting at.

"No! I mean, yes!" Yachi looked at him quickly, biting her lip. "It's a date…with someone older."

" _An older--_!!" The rest of Hinata's sentence was cut off when Yachi put her hand over Hinata's mouth, casting a worried look around her and meeting a few curious eyes.

"Shh," Yachi said. "You can't--I mean, you shouldn't…" She trailed off, removing her hand from Hinata's mouth.

"Are you excited?" Hinata asked, genuinely curious. He'd never been asked on a date before, or had asked someone to go with him. He hadn't really liked any girls that much, and anyways none of them ever approached him. They said he was too loud and annoying to be around for long.

"I am," Yachi said, then caught herself. "I mean! I would be! Because this is a totally hypothetical date, of course!"

Hinata's brows drew together. "Why are you still pretending like it's not happening?" He liked Yachi a lot, but she did a lot of things that didn't make any sense. Like she got nervous when she had to talk in class, even though she knew the answers. And she thought Kageyama was more impressive than he _actually_ was. And like calling things "hypothetical", or whatever that meant.

"Anyway," Yachi said, changing the subject, "why isn't Kageyama eating lunch with us today?"

Hinata's hands immediately started to sweat. "Because," he said, avoiding her eyes. 

"Because…why?"

"Just because," Hinata repeated, stubbornly shoving bread into his mouth and avoiding Yachi's curious gaze. Her eyes were heavy on the back of his neck, pressing him for a truth he didn't want to admit aloud: Kageyama made him feel funny. His fingers went kind of tingly and his stomach got all fluttery and his heart sometimes skipped a beat, which made him think that maybe he was having a heart attack and should go to the nurse.

So to fix the problem he'd moved lunch places and had conveniently forgotten to tell Kageyama about it. Today they were in Yachi's classroom instead of Hinata's and Kageyama's, which was down the hallway.

Yachi's eyes felt like they were drilling holes into the back of his head. He wanted to spit out the reason _so so_ badly, he could almost feel it on his tongue, making it hard to breathe.

Eventually, the pressure became unbearable.

" _Kageyamamakesmenervous,_ " he blurted out in one breath, squeezing his eyes shut and cramming his mouth with more bread.

Even though Hinata was mostly sure what he'd just said wasn't in Japanese, Yachi's mouth dropped open, her eyes lighting with something suspiciously like understanding.

Hinata was pretty dense, and kind of slow, but even he could connect the same dots Yachi had. " _No,_ " he said vehemently, lunging forward like he could physically knock the idea out of her head. But Yachi was laughing at him now, her mouth forming around syllables Hinata didn't, wouldn't, _couldn't_ hear, because it wasn't true.

"You like--" She started, but she didn't get much farther than that, because her eyes widened at something behind Hinata. But before he could turn around and see--

"Oi, dumbass!" Suddenly there was a yank on the back of his shirt and Kageyama was there (of _course_ he was) scowling down at him, holding milk and a bag of bread, his hair hanging forward off of his forehead.

Hinata did not get distracted by this angle, of course not, just like he didn't catch any of the annoyingly knowing looks Yachi shot him as Kageyama sat down and chewed Hinata out for switching lunch places before begrudgingly letting HInata steal his bread.

He really didn't notice, though, how Kageyama had bought extra, like he'd been expecting to share with Hinata anyway.

\----

_iii._

 

He was eating dinner with his family when he spaced out again.

"Shouyou," his mother prodded gently, "how was your day?"

"My day was great!" Natsu answered eagerly for him before Hinata could stumble for a response and blurt out something stupid, like _I think I like somebody_ or _have you noticed how Kageyama's face gets when he's about to serve._ Untrue stuff, mostly. Things that didn't matter.

"That's awesome, sweetie," Hinata's dad said, patting Natsu on her head. "I'm so glad that you're having a good time in school. No more trouble with that one kid--who was it?"

"Mika-chan?" Natsu replied, her face contorting. "I talked to the teacher like you said, and it all got better! But I don't think she likes me very much." Natsu turned to Hinata. "Did you see Kageyama today, big brother?"

Hinata grumbled under his breath and attacked the fish on his plate.

"Shouyou," his mother reprimanded.

"Are you fighting with Kageyama-niisan again?" Natsu asked curiously, in the same prodding way Yachi had earlier that day.

"No," Hinata grumbled. "He's just being stupid, anyway. It's not my fault."

"Don't be mean to Kageyama, okay?" Natsu demanded. "I like him and I don't want him to go away, got it?"

"He's just a friend," Hinata said hotly. "Friends come and go."

"Yeah, but not Kageyama, okay? Promise?" Natsu was on her knees now, her elbow in her plate as she faced Hinata.

"I don't even like him that much!" Hinata burst out, but the look Natsu gave him made him feel guilty enough that he was reaching across the table and shaking her proffered hand.

"Promise," Natsu urged.

"I promise," Hinata mumbled. "Kageyama isn't going anywhere."

The statement relieved him more than it should've.

\----

_iv._

 

"Hinata!" Ukai called, startling Hinata. He quickly tore his eyes off of Kageyama's arms--he was criticizing Kageyama's form, okay--before clambering to his feet. Sugawara, who'd been helping Hinata stretch, got to his feet also.

Sugawara laughed lightly at Hinata. "You're not in trouble," he said, smiling. Hinata clapped his hands to his cheeks in embarrassment. His nervousness must've been painted across his face.

He walked over to Ukai, bowing and shouting out a "I'll work even harder, Coach!" before Ukai could get a word in.

Looking down at his shoes, Hinata couldn't exactly see his coach's face, but he could hear Ukai's chuckle well enough over the noise in the gym.

"I just wanted to talk to you about this upcoming practice match," Ukai said. "For god's sake, Hinata, stand up straight, will ya?"

Hinata bolted upright and forced himself to meet Ukai's (pretty scary) gaze.

"I noticed you're a bit…out of sync with Kageyama," Ukai started. 

Hinata swallowed hard and clenched his hands into fists.

"If you guys can't work together like the team needs you to, then I'll have to put someone else in. Kageyama's too valuable to take out, and you're not totally lined up with the other setters."

Hinata's nails dug into his palms, fighting back humiliation. He knew it was true, though--Coach Ukai wasn't a mean person, he just stated facts. And the fact was (though Hinata hated to admit it and would _never_ say it out loud) that he wasn't good enough without Kageyama.

Plain and simple.

And most of the time, it wasn't an issue! He and Kageyama were always together. Volleyball, school, outside of school--it didn't matter. Kageyama was very stuck in Hinata's life, and until Hinata figured out how to get him _unstuck,_ he had to deal with it.

He was doing a perfectly fine job dealing with it, _thank you very much._

"Kageyama and I aren't having issues," Hinata said stubbornly. "It's his fault."

Ukai raised an eyebrow, but Hinata didn't back down. After a second, the older man sighed. "Fine," he said. "I'll talk to Kageyama, too. But this whole weird avoiding-each-other-thing you have going on? Fix it by the practice match, or I'll have to take you out."

With a nod of his head, Hinata jogged back out on onto the court.

"Oi, Hinata!" Nishinoya called, waving him over. "Wanna practice receives?"

Hinata made a face. He wasn't very good at receives. He always felt awkward and clumsy when he tried, which he hated. Volleyball was all about feeling like _whoosh_ and _slam_ and _pow,_ not whatever fumbling happened when he tried to receive the ball. He wasn't Nishinoya, a sort of receiving god, or Daichi, who was reliable, or…Kageyama, who was good at every part of volleyball. It wasn't fair, that Kageyama got all the volleyball talent _and_ the height _and_ the good--

"No thanks," he declined, cutting his thoughts off there, just as his neck prickled. He whirled around to find Kageyama staring at him.

"What?" He demanded. Was Kageyama a mind reader? Did he have a radar that went off whenever Hinata thought about him?

"Nothing," Kageyama fired back, and Hinata recognized the defensive set of his shoulders. The air between them rippled uncomfortably, and Nishinoya's gaze followed the two of them, a small, knowing smile on his face. Hinata shifted uncomfortably, and out of the corner of his eye and saw Yachi, also grinning at him. Ukai raised his eyebrows meaningfully, and Hinata shifted more. He didn't think he'd ever been so uncomfortable in his whole entire life, and it was all Kageyama's fault.

"Kageyama," he started quietly. "You…um…" He trailed off, his normal charisma failing him when Kageyama looked at him, dark eyes questioning and maybe something else that Hinata was most _definitely_ imagining.

"You can still barely spike," Kageyama said suddenly, his voice gruff. "So practice with me. So you don't suck as much."

Hinata loosed a breath. "Hey!" He shouted, indignant tone doing nothing to hide the smile on his face. "I do _not_ suck. I'm the only one in this court who can hit your tosses! So what does that say about you, huh?"

Sugawara came up to Nishinoya, the latter watching Hinata and Kageyama push their way to the net, the taller propping an arm on the shorter's head and listening to him squawk angrily with a small smile on his face.

"You've noticed it too?" Sugawara asked casually.

"What, that Kageyama likes Hinata as much as Hinata likes him, or that Hinata is pretending like his feelings don't exist?" Nishinoya said, crossing his arms and smirking as Kageyama spun a ball in his hands, Hinata taking a spot by the net.

"Both, then," Sugawara replied mildly. "Do you think we'll be able to see them together this year?"

Nishinoya shrugged. "Dunno. They're both pretty thick. They'll get around to it eventually, I bet. Besides, Suga-san, it's not like you'll be goin' far for university. You can come back and check on 'em."

In front of them, Hinata palm met Kageyama's set, the ball flying past the net and landing with a smack that echoed around the gym. Hinata's face was glowing as he landed, nearly vibrating with energy.

"Until then," Nishinoya said, looking up at Sugawara, "let 'em be idiots."

\----

_v._

 

"Kageyama-kun," Hinata started cautiously, watching the other boy warily out of the corner of his eye. "Have you ever…um, been asked out?"

Kageyama froze, fixing Hinata with a look and slowly setting his milk down. Yachi wasn't with them today, probably doing smart people things in the library.

"Why are you asking?" Kageyama demanded, scowling. There was a bit of hair falling over his eye, making Hinata's fingers twitch.

 _Stop,_ he thought. _Bad brain. Bad fingers._

"No reason," Hinata replied mulishly, picking at his fingernails. "You don't have to answer if you don't want."

Kageyama was silent for a long while, finishing his milk and and eating the rest of his chips before turning back to Hinata.

"Yes," Kageyama said, and it'd been long enough that Hinata had nearly forgotten what he'd originally asked. Kageyama suddenly curled into himself, and Hinata would say he looked shy--except Kageyama didn't _get_ shy. Unless…he'd said yes to someone? Or accepted a confession?

Something hot and bitter rose up in Hinata's throat, making his skin feel tight and itchy, and he couldn't hold back his next question. "Did you say yes?"

"Why are you so nosy?" Kageyama grumbled, but it didn't sound mean. Kageyama had a very distinct mean voice, and this wasn't it. "No, I didn't say yes."

"Wait, so you didn't accept? Or you did?" Hinata frowned. Why couldn't people say things simply? Why were things so weird and twisty, all the time?

" _No,_ idiot, are you even listening? Why do you want to know so badly, anyways?"

Hinata dug his fingers into his legs. _Because I'm jealous_! He wanted to shout in Kageyama's face, just to see how he'd react. Maybe Kageyama would hit him, and then the other kids in the classroom would laugh at him.

But he didn't. Because he wasn't--wasn't jealous, that is. Kageyama could get as many stupid confessions as he wanted, and Hinata still wouldn't care.

Kageyama watched him closely as Hinata struggled with his thoughts. Hinata didn't recognize the expression on Kageyama's face for a brief second before Kageyama was scowling again, and Hinata had decided it must've been his imagination.

To diffuse the tension, Hinata swallowed the bitter feeling in his throat and shifted forward. "Can we go to your house tonight? Natsu's having some friends over and my parents won't be home until later."

"You can't just invite yourself to other people's houses, dumbass!" Kageyama leaned forward to knock Hinata in the head, which the latter dodged, irritated.

"Well, it's impolite to turn people down!" Hinata shouted back, springing to his feet as Kageyama continued to try to hit him. "And it's even _worse_ to hit them!"

"You deserve it!"

Kageyama started to throw things at Hinata, chasing him through the hallways and past the second-year classrooms. Their classmates laughed at them and teachers scolded them, but neither of them minded.

Later, when they were sitting in Kageyama's living room playing video games, their homework quickly abandoned, Hinata made a point to ignore the warm feeling in his chest, like the bitterness hadn't even existed in the first place.

\----

_i.ii_

 

They were sitting on a bench outside of a convenience store some time later, the summer heat making their shirts stick to their backs. Hinata's hair was plastered to the sides of his face and Kageyama's ice cream was melting all over his hands. Nishinoya was leaning on Asahi while Tanaka reenacted something for the two of them. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi chatted quietly with Narita and Ennoshita; and inside the store itself Daichi, Sugawara, Ukai and Takeda-sensei were gathered around the small TV in the corner.

"Say, Kageyama," Hinata said almost idly, not really thinking but talking mostly out of habit. "We're friends, right?"

Maybe it was the nighttime, or the lack of school. Or maybe it was the long practice they'd had, or all the pork buns that Ukai had bought for them to get them to shut up and stop complaining. Either way, Kageyama made a noise of agreement. He didn't say that Hinata was stupid, and that he asked dumb questions.

He just…agreed. Just like that.

Encouraged, Hinata ploughed on. "And you like me, right?"

Another affirmative hum, but it felt like there was a question in there as well. Like Kageyama, too, was as curious as Hinata to see where this was going.

Hinata grinned to himself, kicking his feet, and he didn't even have to _think_ about what to say next. "Good, because I like you too."

Something pulled free from his chest at these words, detaching and floating from him like he'd taken a weight off of his shoulders.

Oh. He'd said it, hadn't he? The truth. The reason why he'd been pretending. He hadn't even thought about it, blurting it out like it wasn't something that he'd been trying to ignore for a while now.

Kageyama's cheeks were a little pink. And maybe neither of them quite understood what Hinata's words meant--at least, not yet--but at least Hinata had stopped pretending.

He…liked Kageyama. In the way that made him want to stare, in the way that made him curious and excited and nervous, in the way that made him think back on every quiet, special smile Kageyama had ever given him, in the way that made him jealous when he thought about Kageyama with other people.

It had taken him a little while to get there, and there was still a ways to go (Hinata was stubborn, after all, and nothing really came easy to him and Kageyama) because they'd fight and butt heads and neither would back down _ever._ But Hinata was happy in a straightforward, simple way, so it was probably alright.

He slid a little closer to Kageyama, drawing his knees to his chest and drinking the rest of his soda, the last sip sweet and a little warm. And Kageyama gave him a side-eyed look, but let Hinata curl his fingers into the hem on his shirt. And when he was done with his ice cream, Kageyama propped an elbow on Hinata's knee, comfortable and easy.

And they stayed like that, both a little red in the face, sitting under a sky that spelled out something small and warm and hopeful, nestling in Hinata's chest.

("I'm done pretending," he told Kageyama later, after a different practice, when the weather was a little cooler and the sky a little lighter.

"Speak Japanese, dumbass," Kageyama replied, but there was no bite to his words, and he let Hinata hold his hand all the way down to the bike racks.

And it was enough.)


End file.
